


Of Plated braids and Revenge Schemes

by SonOfAMuggle



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Boys Kissing, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:42:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29841003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonOfAMuggle/pseuds/SonOfAMuggle
Summary: Sirius wants a new hair style. Severus is out for revenge or  is he?
Relationships: Sirius Black/Severus Snape
Kudos: 25





	Of Plated braids and Revenge Schemes

Sirius looked up from his lunch to peer across the great Hall. He was staring at him again, the greasy snake. Severus broke eye contact looking down at the small notebook. Always writing, plotting his revenge against the Marauders. 

Okay fine. He might have bewitched Snape's surprisingly good teeth into fangs so that the bat would finally look like the vampire he pretends to be. It's not his fault the swot has no sense of humor. Now he was waiting around for the gits attempt to "get even." Last time Snivellus had jinxed his telescope in Astronomy to stick to his eye until he sang "Twinkle Twinkle I'm a Little Star". But the joke was on Snape, Sirius knew he had a lovely singing voice no matter what the Slytherins and James said.

  
  


Severus's lank greasy hair fell onto the page he was so hastily scribbling on. Why didn't he wash it or change his shampoo? Sirius himself had tried seven different shampoo and conditioners until achieving the combination that gave the optimal texture and sheen. He could at least tie it back into a fashionable bun so that it wouldn't keep falling into eyes. Sirius currently had his own well kept hair pulled back into a loose ponytail that allowed a few strands to eloquently frame his handsome, haughty features. 

"Heads up!"

There was a crash, a splash, and a flurry of feathers. As the chaos subsided, a soggy gray owl was rousting in Sirius's butternut soup. 

Sirius picked up the dripping papers. What was this stunning picture? These trusses and locks pulled up and twisted into a regal crown stretching down the wearers back like the proud main of a stallion. Intimidating in it's flawless elegance, fearsome in its beauty. He had to have it!

"That's mine." Said Marlene snatching the issue of Witch Weekly. 

"What is that hair style on the front?" Sirius asked

"that's a French Braid." Marlene replied, glancing at the cover.

"Can you teach me how to do that?"

Marlene gave a look somewhere between "Are you trying to hit on me?" And "is this a prank?"

She vocalized her default answer for whenever a Marauder asked for help. "No." And turned back to her own seat.

Sirius pushed away his feather garnished food and glanced back at the Slytherin table. He was gone. Where did he slither off too? He spun in the seat like a top expecting to be attacked from behind. He was met instead with quizzical looking third year. Severus must have left the Great Hall. 

  
  


He recognized the slouching form and gliding gate of Severus in the crowd of students. Sirius followed the boy down the hall turning into a less populated corridor. 

"I saw you watching me? Plotting your pathetic revenge? Let's see what it is?" Sirius said grabbing the diary out of Severus's hand and reading the slanted double spaced writing.

"Accio—"

"Oh no." Sirius blocked it with a swish of his wand. "You're not getting it back till I know what you're up to." He opened the notebook to the last used page:

_He was staring at me again. His hypnotic eyes fill with hate whenever they look at me. But I'd rather Sirius black look at me with loathing then not at all._

"So you were staring at me, you lying snake." Sirius snarled.

"You were staring at me, you narcissist!"

"Egotistical wanker!"

"Manipulated cur!"

"Condescending prick!"

"Vulgar, vile, fiend!"

"Did you write that one down in your diary?" 

Oh look! you did!" Sirius gasped " _Sirius Black is as handsome as he is cruel and if he wasn't suck a vulgar, vile, villain I would fuck his brains out."_

"Think I prefer Villain to fiend. Much more dark and mysterious. Don't you agreed." 

Severus rolled his eyes. 

"Really rolls of the tongue. Vulgar, Vile, Villain." Sirius purred dramatically at his audience of one. Each word rolled off his lips with a taunting drawl.

Severus opened his mouth to retort but came up short.

"Oh no don't respond you'll just embarrass yourself." Sirius placed his finger on Severus's gapped lips. His attention was still consumed in the diary. Sirius flipped through the pages seeking out the choosier lines and devouring that passages about himself.

The Gryffindor's eyes snapped back to Severus who retreated backward till he found the wall. Sirius stocked forward like a predator determination on his face.

"Read this part to me." Sirius said in his excitement forgetting to be mean. He thrust the book under Severus's hooked nose.

"Forgotten how to read, Black?" Severus pushed the book back to legible distance.

"Yes, I'm a complete idiot, Snape. Read it." Sirius said leaning closer.

With a resigned sigh Severus read the line indicated. " _– and If I ever get my hands on his dark silky locks I'll twist it into a French braid and eat it like challah bread."_ He stared into Sirius's flawless face waiting for a cruel comment.

"You know how to French braid?" Sirius's asked glowing with excitement.

The sincerity in the question was confusing. It caught him off guard. So Severus gave an honest answer. "Lily taught me."

"No one– I repeat. –No one touches my hair." Sirius's gray eyes were barring down on him. He was so close. Severus would probably die for this but he would never get another chance. He reached up with his delicate fingers brush a lock behind Sirius's ear.

Sirius felt a gentle caress invalid the sanctity of his head space and leaned into the touch. He puckered his lips as Severus kissed him passionately. 

With the precision of pickpocket Severus wrapped his arms around the distracted Sirius Black and plucked the diary from his slackening grip. Storing it in the inside pocket of his robe. He was grateful the thick Gryffindor had not used a 'Revelio' spell; for hidden between his confessions of attraction the slytherin had written his now discarded plans for revenge. This he thought, inching his tongue inside Sirius's delicious mouth, was a more satisfying retribution.

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
